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Xem Ellen Goes Through an Audience Member's Purse for Her Birthday

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05:33   |   25/01/2019

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Ellen Goes Through an Audience Member's Purse for Her Birthday
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Transcription

  • I'm happy that you're here.
  • Happy Friday.
  • It's Friday.
  • [APPLAUSE]
  • And I think I know why you're so excited--
  • because tomorrow is my birthday.
  • [CHEERING]
  • That's right.
  • So my birthday's January 26th, obviously.
  • Tomorrow.
  • And that means I'm an Aquarius.
  • It's a water sign, which makes a lot of sense
  • because I played a fish who lives in water.
  • [CHEERING]
  • And my body is 70% water.
  • And I won several wet t-shirt contests.
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • So.
  • Sometimes, I like to read my horoscope.
  • I got this one out of "Cosmo."
  • I just took it out of the magazine.
  • I left the magazine on the newsstand
  • because "Cosmo" is expensive, so I just took this.
  • Anyway, here's what it says.
  • "The eclipse activates your romance sector just
  • in time for your birthday, giving you
  • the experiences and relationships
  • and love you rightfully deserve."
  • I don't know what that means, but I
  • hope that my romance sector doesn't
  • get activated while I'm on TV.
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • That's all I know.
  • Mary, isn't the rash you have in your romance sector?
  • Isn't that where it is?
  • No.
  • How is it doing?
  • Is it cleared up?
  • It's great.
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • I'm just concerned about you.
  • I don't mean to--
  • Less talking about it.
  • OK.
  • All right.
  • Just as long as it doesn't itch anymore.
  • I know you were talking about it itching, and it was bad,
  • so I just--
  • but it's OK now?
  • Yeah.
  • Good.
  • All right.
  • I like where my birthday is because it's far enough away
  • from New Year's that people still
  • want to drink and eat again.
  • And it turns out that there's an extra benefit to my birthday.
  • According to this article I saw, a study
  • claims babies born in January and February
  • are most likely to be rich and famous.
  • [CHEERING]
  • Yeah, that's right.
  • [APPLAUSE]
  • It says a lot of Hollywood celebrities
  • were born between January 16th and February 18th.
  • And that's true, because I know a lot of celebrities
  • that have birthdays coming up, Portia de Rossi, for instance.
  • [APPLAUSE]
  • Her birthday is on the 31st, and so is Justin Timberlake's.
  • And Jennifer Aniston is February 11th.
  • And Oprah is January 29th.
  • And the Instagram egg was laid on January 21st.
  • Apparently, if you want to be rich and famous,
  • all you have to do is have the right birthday.
  • Who has a January or February birthday here?
  • [CHEERING]
  • Yeah?
  • Oh, boy, you're excited about it.
  • What's your name?
  • [? Liwan. ?]
  • What is it?
  • [? Liwan. ?]
  • [? Liwan. ?] OK, get your purse and come on down here.
  • [APPLAUSE]
  • Hi, [? Liwan. ?] A birthday hug?
  • Sure, I'll take a birthday hug.
  • My birthday, too.
  • When is your birthday?
  • Can you hold this?
  • Yes.
  • January 17th.
  • Are you looking for something in particular?
  • Yeah, I'm looking for your ID.
  • I don't trust you.
  • I want to make sure.
  • It's in my phone.
  • It's in your phone?
  • Yeah.
  • See, I have one of these things.
  • One of these phones?
  • All right, let me see.
  • Because I lose them.
  • Yeah, sure.
  • Right.
  • You don't believe me?
  • I have to do the same thing.
  • All right.
  • When is your birthday?
  • Oh, the 17th.
  • You just had it.
  • Yes.
  • Oh, congratulations.
  • Happy birthday.
  • Thank you.
  • And anniversary.
  • And anniversary.
  • On the 9th.
  • That's great.
  • All right.
  • And my daughter's birthday.
  • OK, where's your wallet?
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • It's a messy purse.
  • Is it this?
  • Yes.
  • OK.
  • Oh, it's a little princess thing.
  • How old did you turn?
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • It's from France.
  • My niece gave it to me.
  • I see.
  • I see.
  • So you have--
  • It's messy.
  • First of all, the--
  • first of all, it should all be together.
  • Second of all, it goes from highest to lowest.
  • So $20, and then, the ones.
  • I'm sorry.
  • And then-- I'm not going to--
  • I didn't know that this was going to happen.
  • Really, you didn't?
  • I would have straightened out my purse if I did.
  • So this is all you have right now in cash?
  • Yes.
  • All right.
  • Well, that's not rich.
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • No.
  • I don't fall in that category.
  • Yeah.
  • Well, you do now.
  • Bring her $1,000 so we can--
  • [CHEERING]
  • Really?
  • Yeah.
  • [APPLAUSE]
  • Can I have another hug?
  • No.
  • No, that's all.
  • That's the only one.
  • Thank you.
  • Yeah.
  • All right.
  • All right.
  • Thank you.
  • So there, you're rich now.
  • And we'll make you--
  • let's make you--
  • [INAUDIBLE] order?
  • What?
  • It is in order.
  • Yeah, that's what we do around here.
  • I didn't know.
  • Just in case, if you want to check.
  • Why do you keep backing up from me like this?
  • I'm not.
  • I'm sorry.
  • Come on over here.
  • So are you on Instagram?
  • No.
  • Oh.
  • Well, you should be because let's take a picture.
  • And then, you'll start an Instagram account,
  • and people will follow you.
  • I will now.
  • I will now.
  • All right.
  • Thank you so much.
  • [CHEERING]
  • This is like the greatest birthday gift--
  • Ever.
  • --ever.
  • Stop backing away from me.
  • I'm sorry.
  • I'm sorry.
  • And what do you--
  • Oh, my gosh.
  • What is your handle going to be on your Instagram?
  • Make it up right now so people follow you.
  • Because if the egg can do it, you can do it.
  • Me and Ellen.
  • OK.
  • Me and Ellen.
  • All right.
  • Ellen and I.
  • @MeAndEllen.
  • Yes.
  • OK.
  • We'll see if that's taken already.
  • [LAUGHTER]

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Description

Ellen's birthday is right around the corner, so she wanted to find a fellow January baby in her audience to give them a birthday present they'll never forget... having Ellen unexpectedly rifling through all the items in their purse.

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