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Xem Jenny Hagel Recaps the US Women's Soccer Team's World Cup Win

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04:04   |   16/07/2019

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Jenny Hagel Recaps the US Women's Soccer Team's World Cup Win
Jenny Hagel Recaps the US Women's Soccer Team's World Cup Win thumb Jenny Hagel Recaps the US Women's Soccer Team's World Cup Win thumb Jenny Hagel Recaps the US Women's Soccer Team's World Cup Win thumb

Transcription

  • -The women's World Cup ended last week.
  • Here with the highlights of the tournament,
  • please welcome one of our writers, Jenny Hagel, everybody!
  • [ Cheers and applause ]
  • -Hey, everybody!
  • The World Cup wrapped up las week, and it was incredible!
  • First, some teams played each other
  • and some qualified and some didn't -- yada, yada --
  • but the whole thing really kicked off
  • when U.S. player Megan Rapinoe
  • had this exchange with a reporter.
  • -Are you excited about going to the White House?
  • -[ Scoffs ] I'm not going to the [bleep] White House
  • [ Laughter ]
  • -Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
  • When that happened, lesbians were like, "I love her."
  • And straight women were like "Am I straight?"
  • [ Laughter ]
  • Then the team beat Thailand and Spain,
  • and then Megan Rapinoe sat out a game,
  • and everyone in America was like,
  • "Oh [bleep] is my girlfriend okay?"
  • [ Laughter ]
  • -Sorry, Jenny. This is great but I thought you were gonna
  • go over the highlights of the World Cup.
  • -Seth, I'm a lesbian. These are the highlights.
  • [ Laughter ]
  • Then the President tweeted
  • "Megan should win first before she talks.
  • Finish the job!"
  • And then Rapinoe scored two goals against Franc
  • and ran to the sidelines and did this.
  • And you know what the President said then
  • [ Cheers and applause ]
  • Yeah, you know what the President said then?
  • -What? -Jack [bleep]
  • 'cause that's the dopest comeback ever.
  • [ Laughter ]
  • Yeah. Last night, I tried to buy milk at a bodega,
  • and they were like, "We don't take debit cards,"
  • and I was like, "I have exact change, bitch!
  • [ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
  • Then, the U.S. beat Englan and the Netherlands
  • and became the world champ for the second time in a row
  • And not only that, Megan Rapinoe is here tonight to celebrate
  • [ Cheers and applause ]
  • It was a great ending for straight fans.
  • For lesbians, it was just the beginning.
  • Because then, things got very gay.
  • Player Kelley O'Hara ran into the stands
  • and kissed her girlfriend,
  • even though she wasn't eve officially out.
  • What a badass way to come out!
  • I came out in my apartment by whispering
  • to my straight roommate, "I think I like girls."
  • And then she said, "Okay,"
  • and then we just went back to watching "Dawson's Creek.
  • [ Laughter ]
  • Then, goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris
  • posted a picture of hersel wearing this.
  • Look at that outfit! [ Cheers and applause ]
  • It's like she's the CEO of a company that makes lesbians.
  • [ Laughter ]
  • And then, Rapinoe rolled up to an interview with Rachel Maddo
  • looking like some kind of sexy Tim Burton character.
  • [ Laughter ]
  • It's like Jack the Pumpkin Kin had a hot gay sister.
  • [ Laughter ]
  • But don't worry -- Rachel Maddow is a professional,
  • and she meets high-profile people all the time,
  • so you can totally count on he to keep her cool.
  • -You -- You, um...
  • You're really good at talking.
  • I'm still so nervous.
  • [ Laughter ]
  • -Look how flustered she got!
  • That's how other lesbians ac when they meet Rachel Maddow
  • Hoo! It was truly the gayest week America has ever seen
  • [ Laughter and cheers ]
  • Now, I just want to say, I kno the U.S. Women's National Team
  • is not just made up of lesbians,
  • and every team member's contributions to the World Cup
  • were incredible.
  • But it was a big deal this wee to watch the gay members
  • of the team be so out and prou
  • and unapologetic about who they are
  • and for the whole country to be so on board with it.
  • For once, Americans were into lesbians
  • but not in a creepy way.
  • [ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
  • I'm a lesbian, I'm a woman and I'm also Hispanic,
  • so there hasn't been a lot o great news for me lately.
  • But watching America go, in just a few years,
  • from this to this,
  • that makes me proud to be an American.
  • [ Cheers and applause ]
  • -Jenny Hagel, everybody!

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Late Night writer Jenny Hagel highlights some other meaningful victories that happened because of the United States women's national soccer team's World Cup win.
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Jenny Hagel Recaps the US Women's Soccer Team's World Cup Win- Late Night with Seth Meyers
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