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Xem Jennifer Aniston: I Had Slippery Fingers As A Waitress

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30/10/2019

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Jennifer Aniston: I Had Slippery Fingers As A Waitress
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  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
  • WELCOME BACK!
  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS, FOLKS, THIS IS A
  • TREAT FOR YOU.
  • OUR NEXT GUEST IS A TREAT FOR ME.
  • YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST FROM "FRIENDS," "OFFICE SPACE,"
  • "HORRIBLE BOSSES" AND "CAKE."
  • HER NEW SERIES IS "THE MORNING SHOW."
  • >> IT'S JUST AN EVENT.
  • >> REALLY JUST AN EVENT ONLY WITH THE WORST TIMING EVER.
  • I'D RATHER STICK DAGGERS INTO MY EYEBALLS.
  • >> ALEX.
  • >> WHAT!
  • >> HOW ABOUT YOU PRETEND TO HAVE FOOD POISONING AND JUST DON'T
  • GO?
  • >> I CANNOT DO THAT!
  • EVERYONE IN THERE WILL KNOW THAT I'M LYING, KNOW THAT I'M
  • UNCOMFORTABLE AND AFRAID, THAT I'M AFRAID OF WHAT'S GOING TO
  • HAPPEN TO ME ON THE SHOW IN THE WAKE OF MITCH.
  • EVERYONE IN THERE IS PRESS.
  • THEY THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING.
  • HALF OF THEM HATE ME BECAUSE I'M TOO SUCCESSFUL, AND THE OTHER
  • HALF HATE ME, I DON'T KNOW, BECAUSE THEIR HEARTS ARE AT HOME
  • ( BLEEP ) AND THEY'RE DARK!
  • OH, GOD!
  • OH, I CAN'T CRY!
  • >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME, JENNIFER ANISTON!
  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
  • ( CHEERS ) >> Stephen: LOVELY.
  • >> HI!
  • >> Stephen: SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
  • >> IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU!
  • OH, I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
  • HI!
  • >> Stephen: I'M SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU.
  • AS I WAS TELLING YOU BACKSTAGE, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVEN'T MET
  • BEFORE.
  • >> I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, EITHER.
  • >> Stephen: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S TAKEN SO LONG FOR YOUR
  • FIRST APPEARANCE ON THE SHOW.
  • >> WHAT KEPT US APART FOR SO LONG.
  • >> Stephen: YOU LIVE IN LOS ANGELES.
  • WE HAVE A AGREEMENT MUTUAL FRIEND, DAVE SWIMMER.
  • WE WENT TO COLLEGE AND YOU WORKED WITH HIM FOR A FEW YEARS.
  • >> A COUPLE.
  • I VAGUELY REMEMBER THAT.
  • HE'S A GREAT GUY.
  • BUT I ACTUALLY WAS ON THE SHOW ONCE, BUT I GOT BUMPED, AND --
  • >> Stephen: I WOULD REMEMBER BUMPING JENNIFER ANISTON.
  • I PROMISE.
  • WE WANT TO THANK JENNIFER ANISTON FOR STOPPING BY.
  • >> WELL IT WASN'T-- I WASN'T ACTUALLY ON.
  • OUR OTHER MUTUAL FRIEND TIG NANOTARO WAS ON.
  • >> Stephen: I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
  • >> SHE TEXTED ME.
  • >> Stephen: SHE SAID SHE WAS A FRIEND OF YOURS.
  • AND SHE IS.
  • AND I SAID, DO YOU HAVE YOUR NUMBER ON YOUR PHONE?
  • AND SHEED IS D. SHEED IS D.
  • >> AND AND YOU SAID, "LET'S TEXT HER NOW."
  • AND I SAID, "DID I MAKE IT?" AND SHE SAID, "NO, THEY CUT IT."
  • I THINK WE HAVE A CLIP.
  • JIM.
  • >> SHE IS A FRIEND.
  • I HAVE TO SAY THAT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.
  • SHE IS ABSOLUTELY A FRIEND.
  • A VERY GOOD FREN.
  • >> Stephen: CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING ABOUT JEN?
  • >> YEAH.
  • >> Stephen: SHE DOES A COMMERCIAL WHERE SHE HAS THE
  • LOTION, AND SHE DRINKS SMART WATER, AND THE DRY EYE WHERE'S
  • SHE DOES THE DROPS.
  • WHY DOES SHE LACK MOISTURE?
  • "WHY DO YOU LACK MOISTURE?" ( LAUGHTER )
  • "COLBERT HERE."
  • DID YOU GET THAT?
  • >> I SURE DID.
  • ( LAUGHTER ).
  • >> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON?
  • >> I SURE DID NOT.
  • >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN THAT CAME THROUGH?
  • >> I THOUGHT TIG WAS HAVING A MOMENT.
  • BY THE WAY, NOT MUCH OF THAT WAS SPELLED CORRECTLY, WHICH WAS--
  • IF I READ IT BACK-- HEY, YOU GOTTA-- YOU GOTTA GET GOOD WITH
  • THE THUMBS.
  • ANYWAY, IT WAS A PLEASURE-- IT WAS STILL A PLEASURE TO BE
  • THERE, KIND OF.
  • AT LEAST I GOT TO HAVE A TEXT FROM YOU.
  • THAT WAS EXCITING.
  • ONCE SHE SAID IT WAS ACTUALLY YOU.
  • >> Stephen: I'M SORRY WE CUT IT.
  • >> THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
  • WE JUST GOT IT BACK.
  • >> Stephen: MOST OF THIS WILL MAKE IT TO AIR TONIGHT, I THINK.
  • I'M FAIRLY SURE.
  • >> I'M PRETTY SURE.
  • >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE A CARD OF YU OWN?
  • >> NO, BUT I DO LIKE THIS.
  • >> Stephen: LAST NIGHT, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAD THE
  • PREMIERE OF YOUR NEW SHOW, "THE MORNING SHOW."
  • >> YES, BIG PREMIERE.
  • >> Stephen: HERE IN NEW YORK.
  • WHERE DID YOU GUYS HOLD IT?
  • >> IT WAS AT LINCOLN CENTER.
  • >> Stephen: THAT'S FANCY, IT WAS REALLY, IT WAS AMAZING--
  • RIGHT, IT WAS SO FANCY.
  • >> Stephen: THAT MUST HAVE FELT VERY SPECIAL.
  • >> IT WAS SO SPECIAL AND IT WAS ALSO PERSONALLY VERY SPECIAL TO
  • ME.
  • IT WAS IN THE DAVID GEFFEN HALL, WHICH USED TO BE AVERY FISHER
  • HAUL.
  • >> Stephen: SURE, SURE.
  • >> AND I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL IN THAT EXACT ROOM WHERE
  • THE SHOW WAS AIRED.
  • >> Stephen: WOW.
  • >> ( APPLAUSE ).
  • >> Stephen: WHAT HIGH SCHOOL.
  • >> PERFORMING ARTS.
  • PERMANENTING ARTS.
  • LA GUARDIA NOW.
  • PERFORMING ARTS.
  • YES!
  • ( APPLAUSE ) WOW.
  • SEE HOW-- IT'S WORTH THE SCREAM LIKE THAT.
  • WHERE ARE YOU?
  • >> Stephen: IT'S LIKE A FIGHT SONG, ISN'T IT "LA GUARDIA."
  • >> IT TERRIFIES YOU EVERY DAY WHEN PEOPLE YELL THAT.
  • >> Stephen: NOW-- >> YES.
  • >> Stephen: YOU LIVED IN NEW YORK WHEN YOU WERE FIRST AN
  • ACTRESS.
  • >> I LIVED FROM AGE SIX TO 20.
  • I CAN'T SAY I WORKED AS AN ACTRESS EXCEPT FOR
  • OFF-OFF-OFF-OFF BROADWAY.
  • AND I DID A BOB'S BIG BOY COMMERCIAL.
  • >> Stephen: YOU DID A BOB'S BIG BOY.
  • >> I DID.
  • THAT WAS MY FIRST JOB.
  • THAT'S WHEN I GOT MY SAG CARD.
  • >> Stephen: DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR LINE?
  • >> I SAID, "THE SHRIMP IS READY!"
  • OR SOMETHING.
  • I WASN'T EVEN BOB'S BIG BOY PITCHES THE COMPETITION OF WAS
  • NOT TO GO AND GET FOR FAST FOOD.
  • >> Stephen: SURE PURP NOT AS GOOD AS A BOB'S BIG BOY.
  • >> EXACTLY.
  • >> Stephen: YOU WAITED TABLE?
  • WHERE DID YOU WAIT TABLES?
  • >> JACKSON HALL HAMBURGERS ON 82th AND COLUMBUS, WHICH,
  • SADLY, JUST CLOSED.
  • >> Stephen: DID YOU WORK THE SUNDAY BRUNCHES THERE?
  • >> OH, YEAH.
  • >> Stephen: THEY'RE LIKE THE FALL OF SAIGON.
  • YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW UNBELIEVABLY CROWDED IT IS
  • THERE.
  • >> I KNOW.
  • THE LINES -- >> Stephen: WERE YOU A GOOD
  • WAITRESS?
  • >> NO, I WAS A TERRIBLE WAITRESS.
  • I WAS A HOSTESS, THEN THEY FINALLY ALLOWED ME TO BE A
  • WAITRESS.
  • >> Stephen: BECAUSE HOSTESSES MAKE NO MONEY.
  • >> NO, YOU JUST GET A LOT OF BUSINESS CARDS.
  • >> Stephen: NOT ALL HOSTESSES DO.
  • >> WELL, THAT'S MAYBE.
  • SO, YES, BUT I WAS-- I HAD SLIPPERY FINGERS AS A WAITRESS
  • WAS THE PROBLEM.
  • >> Stephen: YOU WERE STEALING FROM PEOPLE?
  • WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
  • >> YES, I STOLE FROM PEOPLE.
  • >> Stephen: YOU WERE DRONG TRAYS?
  • >> I WOULD-- YES.
  • THINGS WOULD SORT OF-- I TRIPPED.
  • I'M VERY KLUTZY.
  • >> Stephen: HOW LONG DID YOU DO IT?
  • >> TWO AND A HALF YEARS.
  • >> Stephen: WOW, THAT'S A LONG TIME TO NOT BE A GOOD WAITRESS.
  • >> Stephen: THAT'S A LOT OF BROKEN PLATES.
  • >> I GOT BETTER EVENTUALLY.
  • >> Stephen: AND NOW YOU APPRECIATE GOOD SERVICE.
  • >> I SURE DO.
  • AND I ALWAYS TIP VERY, VERY WELL BECAUSE I PRIESHT IT.
  • ( APPLAUSE ).
  • >> Stephen: NOW, THE SHOW'S PLOT REVOLVES AROUND A BELOVED
  • MORNING SHOW HOST WHO GETS FIRED FOR SEXUAL MISCONDUCT.
  • >> UH-HUH.
  • >> Stephen: WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU DREAM UP THIS FANTASY WORLD
  • THAT YOU'RE INHABITING?
  • >> YEAH.
  • IT WAS AN INSPIRED IDEA.
  • I JUST KIND OF WOKE UP WITH IT ONE DAY AND THOUGHT, "WHAT HAVE
  • WE NOT HEARD YET?" YEAH.
  • NO.
  • >> Stephen: WAS THIS ACTUALLY CREATED, LIKE, POSTME, TOO.
  • >> YES, THIS WAS A BOOK "TOP OF THE MORNING."
  • AND WE BASICALLY THE-- MICHAEL ELLEN BERG BOUGHT THE RIGHTS TO
  • THE BOOK, CAME TO REESE AND MYSELF, SAID WOULD WE COME AND
  • PRODUCE IT?
  • >> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU AND REESE WITHERSPOON ARE ALSO
  • EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS.
  • >> WE'RE EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS ON IT AS WELL.
  • THAT'S RIGHT.
  • ( APPLAUSE ) AND IT WAS JUST NO QUESTION,
  • LET'S GET IN AND DO THIS.
  • AND IT'S BEEN A BALL EVER SINCE.
  • THEN "ME, TOO" HAPPENED AND THE WORLD CHANGE GLD YES.
  • >> AS YOU KNOW.
  • >> Stephen: FOR THE BETTER.
  • >> FOR THE BOSTON.
  • >> Stephen: YES, SO FAR.
  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> I KNOW, AT LEAST WE GOT A
  • LITTLE BIT OF A SILVER LINING.
  • >> Stephen: DID YOU DO A RIDE-ALONG OR ANYTHING?
  • DID YOU VISIT ANY OF THE MORNING SHOWS?
  • >> WE DWE SHADOWED "G.M.A."
  • YES, 5:00 IN THE MORNING UNTIL 7:00 IN THE MORNING.
  • TWO-HOUR WINDOW.
  • >> Stephen: I WAS A GUEST ANCHOR OVER THERE FOR ONE DAY.
  • AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BREAK ME.
  • >> YES, I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY ACTUALLY DO IT AND HAVE SANITY.
  • >> Stephen: I HAVE GREAT RESPECT--
  • >> AS A LOT OF YOUR WONDERFUL PEOPLE HERE.
  • >> Stephen: I HAVE AGREEMENT RESPECT.
  • >> I DO, TOO.
  • >> Stephen: FOR THEM BUT THE SPEED AT WHICH THEY HAVE TO DO
  • THAT SHOW IS INSANE.
  • NEW STUFF GOES TO THE PROMPTER, THEY'VE NEVER SEEN IT, THEY READ
  • IT, AND GO ON TO THE NEXT STORY.
  • THEY'RE DOING IT PHONETICALLY.
  • >> YOU WORRY ABOUT THEIR NERVOUS SYSTEM SOMETIMES.
  • AND THEN THEY'RE ON AIR AND IT'S AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.
  • IT'S JUST, LIKE, SMOOTH AS SILK.
  • >> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER WORKED A JOB WHERE YOU HAD TO
  • GET UP-- GO AHEAD AND TAKE IT.
  • GO AHEAD AND TAKE IT.
  • >> I JUST LIKE DOING THIS.
  • >> Stephen: YOU CAN HAVE THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH'S, HE'S NEXT.
  • >> THAT'S A NAME.
  • >> Stephen: IT IS, ISN'T IT?
  • YOU KNOW...
  • >> I JUST LIKE IT.
  • >> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT SOUND GUYS LOVE?
  • THIS, THIS.
  • >> I'M SORRY.
  • >> Stephen: SOME GUYS JUST LOVE THIS.
  • >> OKAY, THEN I'LL DO IT.
  • >> Stephen: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
  • YOU'RE JENNIFER ANISTON!
  • DAMN IT, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
  • >> IS THIS MINE?
  • >> Stephen: THAT'S YOURS.
  • WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
  • PLEASE DON'T LEAVE.
  • BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE JENNIFER ANISTON,
  • EVERYBODY.
  • STICK AROUND.

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Description

The star and executive producer of "The Morning Show" on Apple TV+, everyone's best friend Jennifer Aniston, recalls her decidedly unglamorous years living and working in New York City.

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